Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
