Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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