Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize