yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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