i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize