Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize