if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
