We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
