we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
3pm strippers are depressing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
