Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
