that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
