she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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