we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
