I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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