just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
