I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
