check it out our google latitudes are spooning
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
