youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
