just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
