omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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