I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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