So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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