my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
