Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The air was thick with penises
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
