I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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