New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
