I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
