It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
