Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
