i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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