Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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