Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
