What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
