I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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