ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize