I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
