she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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