I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
