hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
