4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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