im drinking this country out of the recession.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
