Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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