We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
