If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
