I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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