Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
40s are totally the cure
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
