I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
