so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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