Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
dude. I can hear the air.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
