Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
