there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
