Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize