That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
