Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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