margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
