you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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