Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize